Bruce and Dick's Text Messages
by RedAlert98
Summary: Pretty much what the title says; text messages between Bruce and Dick! Things are about to get interesting... (oops, I did it again.) Humor, Family, Friendship, Rated T for safety, No slash
1. Chapter 1

For being as busy as he is, Bruce sure has enough time to text. Texting Dick, specifically, more than one might expect. About things one wouldn't have initially figured.

Sometimes, the 13 year old found the conversations exasperating...sure, he could just not answer, but he saved that card for only when absolutely necessary, which wasn't all that often.

Dick glanced at his phone when the *ding* went off, not slowing his pace down the hallway at the Cave.

_B: I am putting restrictions on the Batcave Training Exercise Playlist._

_D: Why what's wrong with it_

_B: I am removing certain songs._

_D: Excuse me?_

_D: Which songs._

_B: Call Me Maybe_

_Bubblegum Bitch_

_Bromance_

_Thrift Shop_

_Istanbul_

_Lady Marmalade_

_Boombastic_

_Sexyback_

_Whatcha Say_

_I Want It That Way_

_All Salt n' Pepa songs_

_Without Me_

_Fergalicous_

_Despacito_

_Tik Tok_

_Bodak Yellow_

_Talk Dirty_

_Friends Theme Song_

_Bad Romance_

_I Like Big Butts_

_S&M_

_Bye Bye Bye_

_Spongebob Sqarepants Theme_

_U Can't Touch This_

_All High School Music tracks_

_Real Slim Shady_

_B: Those are only off the top of my head. Will be doing a full review._

Um, no. Sorry Bruce, but that's not how things work with the playlist. Dick smirked, re-reading the last song listed.

_D: We're gonna have a problem here_

* * *

So this is not going to be the same as Wally and Dick's Text Messages, each text with this will be accompanied by a one shot. One chapter equals one text :)

Hey, does anyone wanna make a Spotify playlist with Dick's songs listed above? That would be so freakin funny XD

Lemme know your thoughts! pls send good vibes and tissues (I will be watching Avengers Endgame this week.) Better yet, just get me some crying towels, lol.


	2. Chapter 2

Contrary to popular belief, Bruce actually tried to be involved in the life of his young ward, Dick Grayson.

Bruce also used text messaging more than people would expect; it is awfully handy to be talking to a business associate on his bluetooth earpiece while keeping up with what Dick was doing over text. Sure, their conversations were sometimes….exasperating, you could say. (Well, that's the least you could say.)

And of course there were times when Bruce just wouldn't respond. Because honestly. Sometimes there were no words.

Bruce tapped his foot on the floor of his CEO office while also tapping the keys on his phone. He wasn't going to be home for a while; long day at Wayne Enterprises.

_B: How was school?_

He had to wait a minute for a response.

_D: In class we were talking about how cats teach themselves to hunt around their collar bells, and this dude followed that up with "well you know how Santa has those reindeer covered in those bells, right?"_

_D: And what he going for was "the bells on cat collars are the same that reindeer are pictured wearing"_

_D: But what *I* heard was "Santa's Reindeer are predator animals that are covered in bells for our protection" and let me tell you I did not appreciate that._

_..._

There are no words.

* * *

THANK YOU to all the awesome people who made playlists from the last chapter XD XD XD This one is from ScarletEmpress2017, just take out the spaces and the link works! : www. youtube playlist?list= PLhit9HOYzrwGbBEFPKJg1WfugqaRXdv71

I came up with those songs by just cherry picking certain ones from about 3 of my playlists, lol.

Okay goodnight im going to pass out now pls be nice to me lol


	3. Chapter 3

"Would you guys shut up for a minute?!" Dick exclaimed, killing the call he accidentally dialed on his phone; between Roy's driving, the neighboring honking and commotion around them, the blaring radio, Wally bouncing around beside him in the backseat, plus both redheads yelling the lyrics of the song playing, Dick wasn't thinking clearly. Wally's elbow had jostled him, resulting in Dick accidentally calling Bruce. Yeah, definitely not the right time for that.

His phone buzzed in his lap.

_B: What's wrong?_

Dick sighed, cursing Wally out loud.

_D: nothing_

_B: Do you need anything or did you just want to talk?_

_D: It was an accident sorry_

_B: Are you okay?_

_B: Were you in a car?_

_B: Call me_

OhmygoshBruce.

"TURN DOWN THE RADIO!"

_D: i'm fine_

_B: Who was driving?_

What?

_D: Roy is driving_

_B: Nobody is hurt? Is the car damaged?_

_D: what, no_

_B: What happened?_

_D: Nothing happened, I just called you in accident_

Wally bumped him again -

_D: *on_

_B: Dick, what happened_

"If you two don't QUIET DOWN so I can think and defuse this situation, we are gonna have a couple Justice Leaguers doing a spontaneous welfare check on us!"

"Uh oh, daddybats?" Roy asked, actually turning the radio down this time.

Dick just made a growly noise.

_D: NOTHING HAPPENED_

_D: What are you talking about?_

_B: You said that you were in an accident._

_D: I said it was an accident, I called you on accident_

The bubble that showed Bruce typing popped up again.

_D: Bruce there was no accident. I CALLED YOU BY ACCIDENT!_

The 3 passengers of Roy's car were suddenly jolted forward, the seatbelts stopping their momentum; oh, they were gonna feel that whiplash in the morning.

"Did someone just hit us from behind?" Wally asked, rubbing his neck.

Roy turned around in his seat, eyeing Dick and Wally and also rubbing his neck. "Everyone okay?"

Dick just slumped his shoulders and sighed.

There was an accident.

* * *

Lol, poor Dick!


	4. Chapter 4

Bruce was well aware of Dick's flair for being dramatic. After all, the kid grew up in the circus; his family were professional performers in front of huge crowds. It's part of the life.

So yeah, the acrobat definitely had dramatic tendencies. Sometimes it could be amusing, like when Wally would elicit the full force of Dick overzealousness because he said something factually incorrect. Bruce suspected the redhead did this intentionally for entertainment purposes when bored.

It was also unpredictable. Bruce had seen Dick barely react to getting stabbed, but yell curses in his native tongue at the top of his vocal capacity over a papercut.

Today, however, it was a bit ridiculous.

Dick's ankle was broken, and Bruce had decided to try his hand in the kitchen since Alfred would be gone until the next night.

'Try' being the key word here.

Bruce's phone chimed for the 6th time in a row. From guess who?

_D: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread._

_B: Dick, I can buy more garlic bread._

_D: No._

_D: You'd burn it again._

_D: I wouldn't be able to endure the loss a second time._

Bruce let out a long suffering sigh.

His phone chimed again.

* * *

List the last song you listened to and I'll look it up if I don't know it! I need something different, my playlists are worn out. :)

^.^


	5. Chapter 5

Once again, Dick had not signed out of Bruce's Youtube account on the batcomputer before using it. Meaning that all there was in his video suggestions, history, and watch later list were…_cats_.

Bruce honestly didn't know if Dick actually watched this many cat videos, or if he was just getting messed with.

Speaking of the devil, it was time for a check in.

_B: What state are you in?_

Bruce had conceded and allowed Roy, Wally, and Dick to take a 2 day road trip. Although he inevitably expected trouble, his outlook thus far was optimistic; it'd been almost 90 minutes already and no panic alarms had been tripped. His 'daddybats' senses (Wally's coined term) weren't tingling either, so there was that too.

He intended to keep it that way, via hourly check ins. The trio's particular flavor of chaotic energy did tend to have a dampener put on it from even Bruce's mere presence over text. Hopefully just enough to avoid disaster, at least.

However, he didn't understand why Dick felt the need to put them all in a group text. _Together_.

His phone made a *ding* with the first response.

_Wally: Constant anxiety_

_Dick: Perfection._

_Roy: …Rhode Island?_

Bruce sighed like he was trying to drain all the air out of the room, while staring at the computer screen in front of him. The mouse was hovering over a thumbnail of something called grumpy cat.

He pressed play.

* * *

So the thing is about Bruce acknowledging 'daddybats' is that Wally doesn't KNOW that Bruce knows about the coined term Lol.

So it's been ages since I posted, sorryyyy but if you don't yell at me I might get another chapter out this week :)

Also, apocalypse bingo really do be what's up these days


End file.
